Determination

Today the writing that wants to come forth, as I continue to heal myself with each and every action that I take, is about determination.

The word itself is solid and enduring. Look there, a noun sitting squarely at the end of the sentence. Very few tall letters and no low ones, just a solid block of letters announcing itself: Determination.

And endure it must. While each and every distraction can and will get in your way when you have a plan and a project, determination will wait them all out. Sometimes determination will plow through the obstacles in its way, sometimes it will just bide its time, knowing that its destiny is to triumph.

My special expertise is the distraction of a young son at home and the special pleasure of almost unequalled enjoyment spending time with him. His music, his games, his enthusiasm and frequent requests for play, all these can easily keep me from attending to my own goals and commitments. His very vociferousness keeps my own desires in check; therefore determination becomes vital because the force of his personality and youthful exuberance is compelling. So I have got to determine for myself, what is as important to me, as his needs and wants are to him, so that I can follow my own drive and my own desire to their destiny home. What are those things?

I am determined to share my wisdom, intelligence and passion with others. I am determined to get up, in front of audiences of women, and share the learning that I have done over the years. I am determined to be well paid for these workshops and speeches that I deliver. I am determined to have music and dance in my life. I am determined to have women actualize their own gifts, as well as to actualize my own. I am determined to promote the cause of happy women inhabiting and overrunning the planet. I am determined to give my gifts and share my vision, so that it clarifies and intensifies in its ability to compel. I am determined to be competent financially and wealthy in all ways. I am determined to have a good time through it all. I am determined to set a date for previews and then to follow up with partnership and requesting. I am determined to become mentor to thousands of women.

Currently I see that I do have determination and it is a long-range thing. It is a sometimes-underground movement, sometimes public policy declared from the steps of the capitol building here at home: I have my rights. The mother of the family has the most rights of anyone. She must be happy, fulfilled, self-actualized, self-satisfied, turned on, juicy, invigorated, partnered-with, supported. She must have her needs for becoming and contributing satisfied, or else her children will have no modeling for a happy and fulfilled woman.

Then again, sometimes I forget and get sucked into the routine of motherhood that the routine itself has prevented me from replacing myself in: laundry, meals, discipline, tidying. Forgetting to make myself important is a piece of the lack of determination. No one person can be expected to do everything. If the author is doing the laundry, she is not writing on her publication. It is not a luxury to work on the publication; it is a priority of the utmost importance. The laundry will wait…until when?

That is not a question for the writer to answer. That is a question for the laundry staff to answer, whoever it may be that day. Determination will cause the determined to learn new skills, be they delegating, requesting, postponing, prioritizing…

This writing is the product of said determination. Actions taken over time cause movement, movement over time creates duration and duration over time becomes momentum. And so determination manifests desire.